Since I broke up with my ex, I’m lazy to get to know men again. Reluctance to adventure in the case of love made me ignore the presence of some men who came nearer, although some friends always suggested “try to open your heart and know him, who knows he is your soul mate” some even say “he is very good, and has the potential according with your calling life, he is match with you”. But my heart remained cold and afraid to open again to men for fear of being disappointed again. In my deep heart I always murmured “lazy! Must collect the fragments heart if one day the facts speak of separation.”
I have many times travelled to around of Indonesia for God mission, often meet with many nice and pleasant men in my sight at a glance. I know some of them not ashamed to express their feelings. There were some who showed considerable effort to convince me to give them a chance to get to know each other. But I still remain silent and not to give any response that eventually makes them fade and pass.
Until one day, I lead a team to do mission to west of Indonesia-south of Sumatera. We are gone to a place call “Lubuk Linggau” for youth camp, Sunday school teacher training; visit some local church for preaching. I lead the team for eight days mission.
After we finish all mission activities, we have one free day. So, we decided to visit some tourist place in there. A man who is member of one church that we serve, give his car and also become our driver to brought us go around the city and visit some tourist places.
He is a mission worker, so every conversation that we did always connect. We close the journey with having coffee together in maxx coffee shop. That is wonderful time for us! The end of our meeting, he asks me to give him my hand phone number, so I wrote down in his phone. He just said “I will contact you later!”.
The next day, I with my team took flight to leave Lubuk Linggau. When I’m in airport, the man calls me and just said he will miss me. I got smile in my face when hear the sentence. I took long flight to Kupang and just arrived in the middle night.
Since the day, he always calls me. And one night I realized that have something different in my heart when I hear his voice. I think, I’m falling in love with him, but I cannot fight for the feeling. I try to avoid the fact as long as I can. But my heart always said “I’m falling in love with him”. For me, Lubuk Linggau mission trip make me feel love again, even though I dont want to fight for the feeling!!